Archive for July, 2010


How to kill creativity?

July 22nd, 2010

Work a 15-hour day of mental masturbation – Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  :(

New momentum with Passion

July 21st, 2010

Today I figured out what I am truly passionate about. Strangely enough it has not much to do with the definitions below… nevertheless I found myself in a pretty heated conversation about the Truth. Obviously there is not One truth, but as many as we are, still I found that my thread of thoughts were revolving around honesty towards oneself (and preferably others) and being True to oneself. I noticed while in conversation that my heart started racing – I was talking calmly, but inside I felt heated as I was mentioning what I treasure so much about people around me – and that is their Honesty and Truthfulness to what they represent, what they believe in – how inspiring I find one’s courage in standing in his/her own Truth regardless of what others may say and still being accepting towards others’. I am definitely passionate about this! I am so happy I’ve found something I am passionate about. :)

Anybody out there?

July 21st, 2010

After posting all these discoveries I wonder if there is anybody out there aware of them at all. No response have come. Not as if I need and audience, rather buddies in adventure… let me know if you are out there adventuring around creativity, would love to hear from you.

La Donna Sole

July 20th, 2010

Gallery

What is an art committed life like?

July 20th, 2010

So, the truth is you will have to deal with real, pressing and persistent challenges that arise as a consequence of you following your dream – having an art filled, creative life.

Let see some of the challenges -

Getting it right – The need to produce something pleasant in whatever you choose to do which requires you to practise endlessly.

Getting it right in public – Putting yourself in the line in front of audiences, where everything about you and your ‘playing’ can and will be scrutinized.

Having sufficient talent – Whenever the world talent means for you, it is a concept that will never be far from your mind and that will likely plague you

Accessing internal resources – Many people remain walled off from their feelings and operate in  a superficial, matter-of-fact, literal way, causes them to ‘play’ mechanically, without richness or depth.

Having some success and feeling successful – You will need the right opportunities to do your thing, opportunities where you are considered ‘top’.

creativity for life

Dealing with repertoire – wether you love pieces or not you will need to ‘play’ them. Have enough pieces to show for.

competingg – Its Darwinian survival-of-the-fittest logic. This world inevitably involves you in auditions. comparisons, interpersonal dynamics, every aspect of competition, you must either successfully compete or fall by the wayside.

Relinquishing control - By tieing your rope to a certain art wagon you relinquish control in many ways and allow yourself to be led by some dependency (on fellow musicians, the orchestra, the theatre group etc) and accept restrictions that comes with your choice of art from.

Dealing with people like yourself - By your choice (of becoming an artist/musician/writer/photographer, etc) you have set yourself up to dealing with people like you, people who are ambitious, driven, competitive, sensitive , complex, eccentric, moody, self-absorbed, histrionic and grandiose.

source –  PhD

Passion4

July 20th, 2010

No more passion today than before… nevertheless working on it!

Here comes the rest.

No8 an outburst of strong emotion or feeling -
This is one I would love to feel – stong emotions, passion of feelings, especially desire, love, connectedness, unity, togetherness… these kinds.

No10 the state of being acted upon or affected by something external, esp. something alien to one’s nature or one’s customary behaviour -
This one I don’t get. I wonder if I ever met a feeling like this – external, alien ‘forced upon me’ against my nature or customary behaviour … I would not like it anyhow… why do they call it passion???

No9 violent anger -
Know it tooooooo well. No more please.

No11 (often initial capital letter) Theology -
This one I understand why it is called Passion, but can’t relate to it.

No14 Archaic . the sufferings of a martyr -

I can relate to this one! I am just not very proud of it, neither would like to have more of it, thank you! I don’t understand how one can be passionate bout suffering! Passionate about being a martyr I gather – it is so heroic, in a way. Still no more, thanks.

1.any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
2.strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardour.
3.strong sexual desire; lust.
4.an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.
5.a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.
6.a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music.
7.the object of such a fondness or desire: Accuracy became a passion with him.
8.an outburst of strong emotion or feeling: He suddenly broke into a passion of bitter words.
9.violent anger.
10.the state of being acted upon or affected by something external, esp. something alien to one’s nature or one’s customary behaviour ( contrasted with action).
11.( often initial capital letter  ) Theology .
12.the sufferings of Christ on the cross or His sufferings subsequent to the Last Supper.
13.the narrative of Christ’s sufferings as recorded in the Gospels.
14.Archaic . the sufferings of a martyr.

Passion3

July 19th, 2010

No music I went for.  I could not move myself for experiencing my passion for music. It is simply too hot. Couldn’t be bothered. I feel ashamed. I assume I should be doing it, walk the talk, but I just simply can’t. Can’t do more than I am doing at a time. I wish I was the person I think I am, with all the strength and will-power but actually they are not available for me every day, all day. I wish … So when they are not available it is only talking. So, there is still some passionate music-listening waiting for me to do – hopefully this summer, outdoors, with great people around to share it with … Yes! That brings me to another passion of mine – Dance. Let’s just see how it goes!

And so, move on with my little list …

1.any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
2.strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardour.
3.strong sexual desire; lust.
4.an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.
5.a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.
6.a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music.
7.the object of such a fondness or desire: Accuracy became a passion with him.
8.an outburst of strong emotion or feeling: He suddenly broke into a passion of bitter words.
9.violent anger.
10.the state of being acted upon or affected by something external, esp. something alien to one’s nature or one’s customary behaviour ( contrasted with action).
11.( often initial capital letter  ) Theology .
12.the sufferings of Christ on the cross or His sufferings subsequent to the Last Supper.
13.the narrative of Christ’s sufferings as recorded in the Gospels.
14.Archaic . the sufferings of a martyr.

No5a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.

This one is a tricky one, because there is ‘someone’ I feel a lot of love for, but no sexual desire at all. Jesus is a kind of person I cannot not love. Everything he stands for in my understanding I love. He represents pure Love for me. He encapsulates Passion and Love for all there is. That actually brings me to
No12 the sufferings of Christ on the cross or His sufferings subsequent to the Last Supper. and No13. the narrative of Christ’s sufferings as recorded in the Gospels.

So, I am not much into religion. I don’t know if the poor guy was actually crucified or not. But I don’t actually care. His time was a violent time, like many others, when human life mean almost nothing. And though he was one of the greatest teachers of all time, he could have been killed because of that. I don’t see his sufferings (if he had any, I would rather call them his deeds) as a passion, but I think it is part of his great Love for us all.

Will maybe read next week about his deeds to get more familiar with the script.

Bad Connection

July 19th, 2010

How can you create anything without some good connections? This sentence has a dual meaning. And I mean it. Creation cannot be done alone. Neither can it be part of the greater creation of things without some connections to others and/or greater ’powers’. So how am I doing with my connections? Not very well. I am in my dooms, feeling very separate from any sorts (sources) of connections. I don’t feel connected to other human beings, neither do I feel connected to the Source or myself. It is not a very nice feeling. It is feeling very lonely and lost without a cause. And I don’t get it. I don’t know what has chance since last time I checked. There was a time when I felt some strong connection, when I felt I belonged to both a bunch of people who inspired me to create and I felt connected to a source of energy moved me to inspiration to create. I don’t seem to have any of it any more. Sad, sad, sad. And I don’t even know what happened between now and then. Somehow life became busy and went sort of astray. Things that used to matter to me and inspired me disappeared from my life leaving me empty and de-inspired. It feels as if at some point I just moved out of connection, ran away to some deserted land, where no roads lead. Why did I do that? It is so painful that I can hardy bear it. Nobody can, we are too much of social-animals to be able to stay disconnected for long. It feels little mad, because thoughts float like endless clouds on a clear sky blocking the view. Without the others’ feedback creating don’t stand much of a chance because it is created in separation, not as a part of something greater. Recently I realized that I don’t do much with my art and music because I don’t have an audience, I have ‘nobody’ to share it with, to create with. Ok, part of the reason. There are others too. But my connections or rather disconnection to the world around me including myself and the Source defines quite a bit whether I create or not. Recently I have been looking for my passion. I realized that passion is related to others (including myself). We are never passionate just out of being passionate. We are passionate about something or somebody – there needs to be a subject of our passion (including ourselves). I have no passion for anything, this time, neither for myself. Nothing pulls me, draws me closer. I stand alone, slightly lost in space, pending. I am looking for my passion and so my connection back to Life in a sense. And creativity is rather a tool than a cause or a result for me. Creativity and passion interlinked inside of me. The one cannot exist without the other. … That is where I am at. I will make an effort to discover the above … will see how I can create some passion and creativity for myself and put them into some lovely forms.

Qualities of an art-buddy

July 17th, 2010

So, one day I realized that it is all cool that I am doing this arty-farty stuff but I simply don’t enjoy doing any of this creative stuff alone – I need buddies. So, later I found a book ‘Creativity for Life’ by Eric Maisel in which he describes the qualities of an art-buddy.  These qualities – he says – are important so our fragile hearts as artists and future creators would be protected and supported by our buddies.

They

  • respect my work
  • speak truth fully with love and respect
  • give commercial and artistic support
  • share my views
  • genuinely believes that I will succeed in my endeavours
  • has suggestions for me
  • calls me great
  • in return I can show my gratitude to them

Extract from Creativity for life by Eric Maisel. PhD

Creativity for MY Life

July 17th, 2010

How am I doing with this commitment business? Not very well I guess. definitely better than before but still not even close to be committed. I have been dancing around it for years, over a decade. I have created many art work, I have performed several times in front of an audience. Still I don’t call myself and artist, and I still don’t consider myself authentic when it comes to art-filled life. I hardly make the time to do my art. I initiated a group called art-buddies formed of 4 people very much like me: busy with their everyday boring life while dreaming about becoming a creative, an artist at heart. We go out once in a while for a chat or a movie or a theatre performance, etc. The one good thing, as  result of our little group is that we all started to read more and deal more with our ‘missing’ creativity and deeply hidden artist-self.