Your Life Isn’t An Accident: A Tip on Finding Your Life Path By Hershey Wier

If “transitioning” is a talent, then perhaps quite a few of us can add that to our little bag of tricks. In my life, I went through several interstate moves during my childhood in the U.S. I’ve been through a few of life’s traumas and deaths of family members, I have cumulatively lived with over 60 roommates, have moved over 22 times, have lived in nine different cities, and now, as most of you reading this, live in what has become my second homeland, Japan.

I have made so many transitions, in fact, that I now incorporate the title ‘transitionist’ on my e-mail signature line. That’s who I am. I know transition. One day, though, I realized that I had accumulated almost too many experiences, too many transitions. It was time to pare down and decide what it is I wanted to do from here on. Or, at least for the next six years. Maybe longer if it’s fulfilling, or for fewer years if it’s not. In looking back on my life thus far, I noticed that about every sixth year, I had gone through a life change. Perhaps I moved, or entered or finished some program or major project, but each change lasted for six years.

It has been said that to understand is to perceive patterns. So, I note this six year pattern, and try to incorporate that into my future plans. Then the question for myself became, “What would you like to try out for the next six years?” Now, to answer that question, I journaled and I soul searched. One of the concepts that came out of this is what I’m going to tell you below.

Do you ever pine away thinking “If only I had done such and such… my life would have turned out differently.” Yes, differently, but better? You don’t know that. Remember that you got to the point you are at today because of who you are. If you had a difficult home life, you may have left home early on and struck out on your own. If you were pampered by your parents with a cozy home life, perhaps you’re an adult who is still living there. Is that any better? If not, it’s time to make a move.

Each of us made decisions at each point in time that seemed right to us at that time. Have you done the “right” thing with your life? Yes, because you did the only thing you felt you could have done at that time. Rather than kicking yourself for choices that you see now, in retrospect, could have been more wisely made, recall the circumstances that led to them. Recall the players and the options in your world at that time. Then give yourself credit for bravely facing each crux in time and making the best choice that was available to you.

Be proud of the fact that you have a lifetime of experience that is like no other. You have developed a unique set of skills and talents. A huge bank account of experiences. How can you draw from it?

What I mean by finding your “life path” is finding a vocation or avocation which makes you feel fulfilled. This does not necessarily mean it makes a lot of money. It is something you enjoy doing, and that you feel is one of your life’s callings. As my life has been marked by many transitions, I decided to develop work that involves writing and speaking about transition, and it is very fulfilling to me.

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