Passion2

July 17th, 2010

As I had promised I started to discover and recover my sense of passion. Started yesterday … well, I don’t know if I felt anything at all, but I did have some insight into where maybe my some passion lies for me. At the coaching school I became one of the coachees for practice reasons. I was asked if I had a topic to work on. And I did. Recently I have one topic in mind, mostly, that is singing. Singing semi-professionally. On stage preferably. With a band. With success. With joy. And here is the key. With joy. I noticed, as I was talking about my issues around music, how passionate I am about this whole topic, how much I would LOVE to be on stage and share my music with others. Whereas I normal have lots of frights about it… still, I felt something moving inside of me as I was talking about it. My couch said, I had sparks in my eyes!

Honestly, I felt no strong hate or love for anybody or anything but I did feel a storng desire for sin ginging. the funny thing is that originally I thought I would feel feelings towards somebody and it turned out about something, Life or Music.

Lets move on with the list

1.any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
2.strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardour.
3.strong sexual desire; lust.
4.an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.
5.a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.
6.a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music.
7.the object of such a fondness or desire: Accuracy became a passion with him.
8.an outburst of strong emotion or feeling: He suddenly broke into a passion of bitter words.
9.violent anger.
10.the state of being acted upon or affected by something external, esp. something alien to one’s nature or one’s customary behaviour ( contrasted with action).
11.( often initial capital letter  ) Theology .
12.the sufferings of Christ on the cross or His sufferings subsequent to the Last Supper.
13.the narrative of Christ’s sufferings as recorded in the Gospels.
14.Archaic . the sufferings of a martyr.

No3. strong sexual desire; lust.

I sometimes feel this but hardly ever act upon it. There is something missing. Connection. The phisical attraction and desire is simply not enough any more for me to feel passionate about somebody, it takes way more than that. I was easier in my twenties, I gather.

No4. an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.

Non existent. This whole sexual desire business is somehow not in the pot for me right now. I wish it was. I wish to feel lustful for somebody. But I just dont. It’s been too long, I guess. I have forgotten how it feels.

No6. a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music.

I have passion for music. Nevertheless I need more of it, more experience of it. I want to be crazy about it!

It reminds me of a film – August Rush – It is hell of a film. Great example of passion in its most amazingly profound forms: MUSIC and LOVE.

Next step, I will find some music for tomorrow night. Fab idea!

Passion

July 15th, 2010

I decided to discover or rather recover my passion. I started with checking the meaning of the word …

1.any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
2.strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardour.
3.strong sexual desire; lust.
4.an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.
5.a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.
6.a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music.
7.the object of such a fondness or desire: Accuracy became a passion with him.
8.an outburst of strong emotion or feeling: He suddenly broke into a passion of bitter words.
9.violent anger.
10.the state of being acted upon or affected by something external, esp. something alien to one’s nature or one’s customary behaviour ( contrasted with action).
11.( often initial capital letter  ) Theology .
12.the sufferings of Christ on the cross or His sufferings subsequent to the Last Supper.
13.the narrative of Christ’s sufferings as recorded in the Gospels.
14.Archaic . the sufferings of a martyr.

Source

WOW … it may not be easy… lets start at the beginning.

No1. any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate -
So where does my passion lie when it comes to powerful and/or compelling emotions or feelings? Nowhere. The only feeling I mostly feel is anger. According to No9violent anger – it is part of my passion. At the moment it seems my only way I express my passion. But lets not run too much ahead of myself.
It maybe compelling to constantly feel angre but definitely not empowering or powerful in any way. Rather destructive. I don’t often feel love or hate as a matter of fact. I float when it comes to emotions.
So what to do about it? How could I start feeling powerful emotions again? FEEL IT, not think it!

No2. strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardour -

Dont quite know what to say here either. I dont quite remimber any amorous feelings coming over me for the longest time … not even mentioning desire. Must be an age thing! Nevertheless I will try and do my best to recover my sense of desire and amore. Brrr! Sounds exciting!

Ok first step first. Tomorrow I will feel hate and love as well. I will pay attention to be passionate on the emotional spectrum. It sounds very scary somehow! Let see what shows up! Can’t promise any lust! But you never know!

New beginning

July 14th, 2010

A few days ago I decided to start a blog on creativity. But not just any creativity – my relationship to creativity. I read a book – Your life, your legacy by Roger Hamilton – via which I realized that I am a creator. Unfortunately a not too active one. So I decided to discover and recover my creativity and enter into the flow of  life and ‘fortune’ through my healed creativity. The medias and methods I will use are: books on creativity and different forms of art; excercise books on recovering one’s creativity; painting, drawing, singing; maybe acting as well. I am going to approach my own hidden creativity from any angle I find until she dares to come out and shine.

Way to go!